Boiled

In my opinion

My mother is the greatest cook in the world

She can craft any dish regardless of its culture or required technique

Growing up, every once in awhile she would entrust me

With the task of helping out in the kitchen and

To this day I love to cook

“Jordy,” she would say

“Watch the pot on the stove

It’s just water heating up, but it’s covered

So you need to watch it and stop it before it boils over”

Regardless of her reminder, I would somehow lose track of time

Suppress the thought

Get distracted

Or simply stop paying attention

And sure enough…the pot would boil over

Funny how that works

Something as simple as a few drops of water, if agitated properly

Can go from a calm bringer of life

To a scorching disaster

Imagine if the top was sealed closed

It would boil until the pot exploded

A few drops of water used to pour down my eyes

Before I learned to hold them back

Suppress the thought, Get distracted, Stop paying attention

I hope you know none of that will make the pain go away

When I got into my first fight

I got my ass kicked

I didn’t even throw a punch in return

I don’t remember if it was more fear or shock

And to add insult to injury

He bunny-hopped with his bike and landed on mine as he rode away

I felt so much anger I could have punched through a wall

I breathed so hard, huffing and puffing

Feeling the internal steam starting to rise

Until the tears formed at the corner of my eyes

Not because of the fight

But because he used to be my friend

And it hurt…

Instead of letting the tears fall, I wiped them away

I would much rather hold them back

Get distracted, Suppress the thought, Or simply stop paying attention

I hope you know none of that will make the pain go away

Fast forward to my first kiss

It was at the end of the school day

Gossip and rumors made it seem

That one of the cutest, most popular girls

Actually liked me…

Me?…And I mean the old me

Me with stutter that I hid

Me with the fearful, anxious mind

We stood in front of school after classes ended

We kissed and time stood still

We kissed and shortly after a sea of

“Oooooohhhhh”s erupted

I walked home feeling like I had done the impossible

And when I got to school the next day, feeling like I was “The Man”

I was soon surprised with the news and rumors

That she seemed to regret the decision

Just that fast, after school like the day before

She dumped me…

Time once again stood still

And shortly after a sea of “Oooooohhhhh”s erupted

I walked home determined to never feel that way again

I felt so much anger I could have punched through a wall

I breathed so hard, huffing and puffing

Feeling the internal steam starting to rise

Until the tears formed at the corner of my eyes

Not because of the people watching

But because I liked her…

And it hurt…

Instead of letting the tears fall, I wiped them away

I would much rather hold them back

Suppress the thought, Get distracted, Or simply stop paying attention

I hope you know none of that will make the pain go away

“Jordy,” my mother would say

“Watch the pot on the stove

You need to watch it and stop it before it boils over”

Jordan watch it before it boils over

I hope you know none of that will make the pain go away

The pain of trying to feel like you are worth something

Jordan watch it before it boils over

The pain of the reality that the help you need isn’t coming