For 23 years, I was a robot that was taught to suppress her emotions and not let anyone see me struggle. I took pride in the fact that even my best friends had never seen me cry. I had gone through traumatic experiences that I never shared with anyone because I didn’t want to seem “weak”. But, in the summer of 2021, I hit rock bottom, and I couldn’t ignore my feelings any longer. That is when I began my therapy journey and finally came to terms with my anxiety, depression, trauma, and everything else that I had been silently carrying on my shoulders for so many years. At first, I was absolutely terrified of what was going to come up. Exploring my feelings? Crying? Digging into trauma? There was a reason I avoided these things for as long as I did. However, I soon realized that with every difficult conversation or realization, came a new understanding of why I am the way I am and how I can break the toxic patterns in my life. I now see my mental health journey as an exploration of myself, and it’s exciting when I connect the dots and find patterns in my past that I can actively work on changing. I am no longer scared of what will come up on any given day, I am curious and welcome it with a nonjudgmental mind.

The first time I saw Dxtr perform his spoken word pieces, I got chills. I had never seen a man be so open and honest about his life and feelings, and it inspired me to be more open and honest about mine. I felt a pull in my gut that this project was something special and it could change lives, mine included. This is the work I was meant to do, it just took me a little while to figure it out. I have seen Dxtr perform many times since that first night, and I still get chills. Every. Single. Time.